the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Who died my cat blue again?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
