Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
