Ambien. No doubt about it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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