We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude. I can hear the air.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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