Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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(631): View more from New York

Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

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(806): View more from Texas

We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Tiny.

(402): View more from Nebraska

I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.

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(813): View more from Florida

Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

(813): View more from Florida

Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

(1-813): View more from Florida

Stop reading WebMD high.

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(+33): View more from France

Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.

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(513): View more from Ohio

No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.

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