Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
