girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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