It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
