Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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