I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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