so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
