Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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