NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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