yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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