I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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