I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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