never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
