I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
