There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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