They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
