i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
