whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
