If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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