I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
