Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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