Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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