I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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