wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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