i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
