I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
