I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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