Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
should my penis look like a turkey
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
