you're like a bully in the Christmas story
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
