So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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