google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
