Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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