Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
