I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
