Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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