So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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