I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
