he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
