need another drink. this is the easiest way
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
