you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
