that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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