Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
