This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
