Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
