just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
