Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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