belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize