the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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