You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Barsexuality is the new black.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
