am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i will never coherently bang her
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
