the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
