yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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