every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
