Jerry, you need to find god
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize