So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize