The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
