my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
