im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
