you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
