people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
