Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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