You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
