Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
