South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
