idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
