I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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