Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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